Marital Menagerie

Posted on June 3, 2008


Having recently turned 20, and having been born to a community such as mine, i’m starting to get accustomed to the rising tension associated with conversations containing snippets of ‘we must start looking for a good boy..’ (mum) and ‘you know shash, it is our obligation as parents..’ (dad).

As the months fly by i’ve also noticed the increasing frequency with which mum asks me if i have a ‘boyfriend,’ and have learned to amuse myself with parring frequency; at first it was ‘No ma, relax,’ then i tried ‘Yes mother, i’ve got a harem of suitors each waiting for their turn,’ and finally i had a go at ‘Actually mum, i’ve been having a 3-year relationship with the shopguy downstairs who’s currently planning our elopement!’ That last witticism earned me a glare that could’ve put the Huns to shame, but it was oh-so worth it! Not-so-surprisingly i haven’t heard much on the subject since.

But honestly, the arranged-marriage system is a farce and a half! Now now critics, don’t get me wrong..i’m all up for a little selective breeding, just hear me out. You remember how as a child you’d visit the zoo? You’d stop at the different enclosures, study each inmate, and at the end of the trip you’d decide which creature was your favourite. Well..that zoo-trip is a pretty accurate description of the afore-mentioned process.

Ok i admit..i’m probably exaggerating a tad. The ways of the hired hit-man cupid have definitely evolved over the years. You’ll see less adverts in The Daily’s marital column (parents seek pretty, domesticated girl for their 26-year old, not-so-attractive son), folks are now willing to consider their offspring’s take on the issue, and gone are the days when the bride’s trousseau (including wedding-night intimates) were openly displayed to all those holding an invitation card.

It’s not so bad a game, this. Just a terribly amusing one.