Fit or Fat?

The thing about winter (even the 14 degree sort we have here), is that it turns all us mortals into unhealthy blobs of lazy.
It’s too cold to do anything outside so you just want to curl up in bed, comforted by the warmth of your laptop…or a tub of icecream.
So it came as no surprise, when two months down the line I was chalking up those calories and hadn’t enough stamina to even pretend to run.

Hence the quest to find myself a gym.
After eliminating a few of the dodgy ones, and more than a few outrageously priced ones, I had narrowed myself to this one place that seemed just right; reasonably priced, conveniently located and well-reputed. The phone coversation went as follows:

Gym: Hello, you have reached the Fat Crusaders*, how may I help you?
Me: Yea, hi! I read about your gym on your website, and was wondering how I could go about signing up for a membership?
Gym: Sure ma’am. First you’ll have to come over so that we can have a weigh-in. Then on analysis of your body type we’ll decide what regime and diet best suits you..
Me: ..Oh, but I don’t want to be put on a diet!
Gym: You..don’t want to diet?
Me: No. You see I was just hoping to maybe pop in a couple of times a week after work. Not for the purpose of losing weight, but to get more in shape.
Gym: To get in shape.
Me: Yes. As in, to get a bit healthy you know?
Gym: You’re not overweight ma’aam?
Me: Erm no..
Gym: *confused silence*
Me: Listen, don’t you have an option where anyone can just walk-in, work-out, and leave as they please?
Gym: Ma’aam..you’ll have to be in at least 5 times a week, and a maximum of 7 times.
Me: So, that’s a no.
Gym: *pause* Yes.
Me: Erm..right then, thanks. And good luck with that.

‘You’re not overweight ma’aam??’ Why is that so hard to believe?? And why on earth is it so incomprehensible that some people don’t have an agenda, and are just fine with the way they are..or life even. So like the 21+ tag on all clubs (and some movies), turns out you need to be above the normal weight limit to be allowed to enter a fitness regime.

Pity though..if not for it’s despotic regime that place would’ve been my safest bet. Until then my not-so-overweight self has resorted to boycotting the elevator. So until I can find myself a less domineering gym, it’s the stairs for me!

Doubt it’ll really help much since I live in a duplex, and I pretty much have to make more than a couple of daily climbs to get to my room / loo and back…but lets not burst that pet bubble of denial shall we? It helps me sleep at night.

Cheers.

*name has been changed for discretion*

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